First Published April 26, 2006~~current mood CRAZY~~
“I’M TELLING!!!!!!!!!!!” reverberates through the house for the millionth time today, followed shortly by an ear piercing shriek from my six year old daughter. Yes it has been one of those days! It seems to be one day in a long string of days, that my children are slowly pushing me to insanity. I do believe they have a plan to be visiting Mom at Bellevue Sanitarium during basket weaving class. These are the days that my shattered mind hides in the safety of daydreams. Sometimes these daydreams revolve around me and me alone hangin’ out in the mountains (ok so I am hiding in a damn cave, but it’s the mountains nonetheless). Other days it revolves around selling my children on Ebay. Today was one of the latter……..
*Daydream mists*
The doorbell rings as the children are swinging from the curtains or punching each other relentlessly. There is a dark woman wearing colorful clothing standing on the porch sporting several hoop earrings.
Me: Can I help you ma’am?
Gypsy Woman: I would like to offer you $100 per child to come travel with the carnival.
Me: Come in dear lady and tell me your plans.
*Now at this point, I am going to hell because I am seriously contemplating this.*
Me: So you would like to buy my children for $100 and take them with you????
Gypsy Woman: Yes
Me: Will you be bringing them back before they turn 18?
Gypsy Woman: No
Mom goes upstairs and packs all of children’s belongings and kisses each one of them on the head, tells them to be good little carnival workers and sends them with the kind Gypsy Woman.
Daydream mists fade as Mom watches 6 year old daughter punch 3 year old son in the nose. Three year old son screams and has blood dribbling out of his nose. Six year old proceeds to lie to Mom about punching her brother. (I swear this child is going to be a politician) She tells me the cat punched Anthony, not her. Anthony seems to find this explanation plausible and proceeds to kick cat across the room. Where the hell is my economy size bottle of Motrin???
Poor kid! I know how kids are though.
These kids have given me many memorable moments seared into my mind! LOL